Saturday, February 22, 2014

OKAY, MICHELLE.

Today started innocently enough. Like any other good Saturday, I was two cups of coffee into the morning and on my fourth episode of How I Met Your Mother. On the couch, in my PJ’s, enabling my behavior to continue guilt-free by throwing out the occasional, “I really should shower and clean my room.” 
This continued for some time with only small variations: walked to the kitchen to heat up my coffee, took a break from TV to scroll mindlessly through my Facebook feed, and – seemingly innocuously enough – decided to watch Jimmy Fallon.
This was my mistake.
It was going well at first. Jimmy and Justin doing yet another History of Rap, being cute and sorta boyfriendly with each other which let’s be honest nobody hates. But then I finished that episode and backed it up to the Michelle Obama episode.
Before I know it, my First Lady is looking me in face saying, “I try to exercise every day!”
LIKE COME ON, MICHELLE, THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE COMEDY.
The story ends with me doing a Jillian Michael’s DVD and nearly dying. Like who knew butt kicks could be so hard? (Also a flowerpot fell and broke because I live in an apartment where the floor resettles when you do jumping jacks. The universe telling me to sit back down on the couch??)
Living on purpose takes so much energy.

2 comments:

  1. How did this happen to me as well?!?!
    Somehow I went from simply stretching and doing a few yoga like moves to relax, and before I knew it I was one link too far and participating in a Jillian Michaels 6 week 6 pack video. And I'm pretty sure I had a mini heart attack on Andy's carpet.

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  2. I can't believe you let Michelle boss you! that just made me MAD when I saw it, and even though I was planning to exercise I DIDN'T. This is a great post, so much fun, so perfectly packaged; I love the way you write in such a flowy way. I can hear you saying all of this. Keep telling us about your funny take on life!

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