Tea. At Crick.

Jonathan Kirkpatrick (the previous Junior Dean at Crick House) and other Crick people from past years made up a system to tell people how to fix your tea. Here are the ones I remember:

If you want nothing in it at all, you just ask for "Object."

If you want just milk (a lot of milk), you ask for "Dracula's Dream."

If you want milk and one sugar, ask for a "Fat Cow."

If you want milk and two sugars, you'll get a "White Desmond." (As in Desmond Tutu. As in "two" sugars. Sound it out.)

I feel like there were more, but I can't remember them.

So now, instead of asking simply for a "milk, two sugars, please," you gotta remember all this about animals and monsters and world leaders. Somehow I haven't found that it simplifies anything when six people are yelling for cows and draculas and desmonds and the odd "Isn't there one about the Queen? The fat white queen?"

But the point is -- it's hilarious. So the system has been adopted.

I'll take a White Desmond, please.